Something they’ve had since they were tiny? Something you worry the world will knock out of them?
What about them do you hope never changes?
How openly they love people
How silly they are. They don’t care who’s watching.
The way they want to know why about everything
They still tell me things
Most people have one, and it rarely has to be dramatic.
What are you trying not to repeat?
The shouting
Never knowing which version I’d get
Being managed instead of talked to
Nothing was ever quite enough
As much or as little as you want to put down.
What do you want your children to say about their childhood?
That it was happy. That’s all.
That home was somewhere they could relax
That they had lots of freedom
That we did loads together as a family
Something they could say and mean, like “I can handle hard things”.
What would you like them to believe about themselves at eighteen?
That they can handle hard things
That they’re loved whatever happens
That they’re good enough as they are
That it’s all right to ask for help
WHAT ALMANAC HEARD
Nora loves people openly, and you hope that never changes. You want her to leave home believing she can handle hard things. For yourself, you’re trying not to repeat the shouting, and you want home to be somewhere they could relax.
Worth trying this season: when you do snap, go back and put it right. It shows her that hard things can be handled.
What I can’t see yet: what the evenings are like, when everyone is tired.